oneoclockinthemorning

Yeah that shit’s all crammed together, but it’s 1 AM and I can do things however the fuck I want at 1 AM. That’s how time works.

I’m watching Conan O’Brien. Not the late showing, but the rerun of the late showing. I have class in the morning, but it’s Cultural FUCKING Anthropology. You think I’ll need that when I’m making movies and/or shooting a porn remake of Troll 2 called Pole 2* to pay the bills? Hell no.

(*Pole 2 has no predecessor, I just have to go with the name scheme. Porn be like that sometimes. But seriously…picture the famous line “They’re eating her…then they are going to eat me…OHH MY GOOOOOODDDDD!!!” in a porno. Think about it. Think about it. SEE! It would work. Now to find my star…)

Bree

“You’re either in my corner, or you’re with the trolls.”

So at this time I’m usually watching mindless TV until I get to sleep, but I’m illegally downloading movies and for some reason they’re going awfully slow. What’s a motherfucker gotta do to get lightning fast download speeds so I don’t have to wait for my pirated movies? C’mon. I’m also jamming out to Blink-182’s newest album. I’m not a huge fan, but it’s a new album by a decent punk(ish) band, so I downloaded it 100% legally from a dependable website.*

(*Actually, no I didn’t.)

Suck It

So there’s that.

Aside from all of the downloading and Conan watching and late night stuff like that, I’ve basically just sat in silence all day. I’m practicing to become a Buddhist monk. I plan on taking my Vow of Silence here in the next month. PSHT! Kidding. I’ve just been a curmudgeon/hermit because shit can get a little hard here in college. Seems like life always wants to fuck me in the face, but I digress. I’m making an honest effort to cheer the hell up and fulfill my ass-kicking quota for the month of October with days left to spare. Ya know, like a Charlie do.

Oh! Oh! Speaking of kicking ass, I literally just sent an idea over to my buddy about a book idea. You know how Seth Grahame-Smith wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter? (If you don’t know what these are, I ask you to please Google them or jump off a fucking bridge. Yo’ decision.) We got to talking about the freaky escaped animal news from today (Catch up on your news, motherfuckers!) and got into a discussion about natural selection. He said “This really is a case study in Darwinism. May the fittest survive… until man comes along and puts a bullet through your head.” And that got me thinking…

Darwin

BOOM! This MUST be published!

Would that not be epic? Charles Darwin develops these theories about natural selection and further expands on the concept of survival of the fittest. After coming home from the Galapagos Islands and realizing the world around him is falling apart and being run by complete idiot assholes, he takes matters into his own hands by capping motherfuckers with an early prototype of a AK-47. Genius, right? Damn I’m good.

So that’s pretty much all I have on my mind at the time. Hope you enjoyed yourself. If you didn’t, just know that you’re adopted.

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