The Daunting Day-to-Day Happenings You Missed While I Was Gone and Other Assorted Adventures

You should probably play this song while you read the following blog. It’s more than likely going to make the experience 89% more epic and 100% more sensual.


Now, I’m not really sure where to begin. It has been so long since I’ve placed my thoughts in the crazy whizzbang that is my primary blog. (Before you sneer, whizzbang is a legitimate word. I just found that out. I plan on using it at least once a day from now on. Everything just got real.) Hmmm….

I suppose the best place to begin is at the end. My first semester of my sophomore year here at UMich is finally making like a paid prostitute and getting the fuck out and I honestly couldn’t be happier. These past few months have been hellish, not because they were hard, but because they have just been so stressful and a huge pain in my ass. It’s as if I’ve just been swimming in a vast ocean of bullshit. I’m ready to get home for Christmas and enjoy some much needed relaxation time before I have to get in gear for next semester, which won’t be bad ’cause Uncle Charlie’s focusing on his film studies. Aww yeah, I’m about to declare my major so I can get started on that path of filmmaking. Might even have to dabble in the porn direction for a little while to get some camera work experience. Why porn? The nudity, the fun, and the recognition, right? False. I’m thinkin’ it’s because I assume porn scenes are shot behind one of those cool bulletproof windows — the ones that the Mythbusters use — so that the film crew (me) isn’t hit by any unidentified-though-you-KNOW-what-just-hit-you projectiles. Wouldn’t that be wicked?!

That thing in the back. Yeeeaaah, you know what I’m talking about.

Seriously though, I am beyond pumped to really start focusing on film instead of this prerequisite mumbo-jumbo. Let us see, what else has been going on ’round here? I haven’t really had too many parties or drunken experiences as of late. Lame, right? Not so much. I’ve made it a point to focus more on school and taking it easy as opposed to getting hammered. That is not to say I haven’t had my moments, but they are few and far between. As my friends have pointed out, however, they tend to drink more often than I do, but the one or two times out of the semester when I decide it’s time for me to break out of my shell I definitely dip into the cabinet and do a bit more than them. While they are out getting just buzzed on Smirnoff Ice and Natty Light at a progressive party, I’m in my own room with some friends, relaxing and reminiscing with a bottle of Jagermeister, eventually lying on my floor for a good twenty minutes yelling about how I can’t reach the TV remote because it grew legs and wandered underneath my bed. Am I proud of this? Eh, not really, but at the same time kinda. I see it like this:

The people who make the most mistakes in their lives have the most stories to tell. They may not be necessarily proud of them, but they can look back, laugh and tell everyone about the time they messed up really bad.

This guy has stories.

So does he.

Even her!

I am far from cavalier about all of my bad choices, but I think after a certain point I can talk about them and turn them into jokes. As a (very amateur) comedian that’s my duty. Does it entertain you when I tell you about that time it took four guys to hold me up so I could piss? You bet it does, so let’s treat it as a story and a lesson learned, nothing else. (NOTE: I do not condone acting like an irresponsible ass all the time. I see myself as more a “chill party” kind of guy, meaning I do things with a few friends in a closed environment. If you plan on getting crazy, PLEASE do so with the right mindset. Don’t be a douche: Be responsible. God gave you a big brain in a really thick skull, so use it…but don’t abuse it. Seriously.)

Sorry for the after school special, preachy-type thing there. I just had to make sure people don’t think I advocate drunken stupidity to the point of hurting someone. That ain’t cool. To head back in the comedic direction, I’ve been thinking a lot about my future lately. Who knows where a Film degree from UMich is going to take me, ya know? I have this goal in my head to graduate, move to a bigger city around the Midwest (Grand Rapids, Ft. Wayne, Toledo, maybe Chicago) and start out working for a local TV station. This is far from my dreams of doing it big, but in all seriousness I think it’ll get me on my feet until I can make a name for myself. Lord knows I’m one creative MF, so I’m thinkin’ I have to be something bigger than a TV producer. That’s just how I feel. “Charlie, what have you thought of doing other than film or TV? Where do you go once you’re on your feet and established?” Thanks for asking NO ONE, but here’s what I’ve had in mind for a while now:

  1. Writer/Director: My ultimate dream is to go to Hollywood — or somewhere I can make delicious movie magic — to do my thing. I have approximately 148 ideas in my head for scripts and visions for roughly 87 of them; I have to let them free. I see myself as a little Nolan, a little Zombie, a little Proyas, and a lot Kevin Smith. Just picture all of their films having a huge cinematic orgy and nine months later one of the attendees pops out a wee little love child: THAT’S my though process.
  2. Radio Personality: When I came to college I had monumental decision to make: What the hell do I do? For quite some time I was dead set on studying Communications and focusing all of my attention on becoming a radio host. I’ve always had the gift of talking — orating and shit-talking included — thus I have been driven to think I’d be the bomb as one of them there talk radio hosts, preferably at some station where I could play the music I like: METAL. I was always inspired by Bob & Tom, the Free Beer & Hot Wings Show (97.9 GRD in Grand Rapids), and of course the Holy Grail, the TNT Morning Show (98.9 the Bear in Ft. Wayne). Listening to these guys as a kid and into my high school years was the highlight of my day and I always thought it would be so money to wake up bright and early, have some fun, talk a little, tell some jokes, play some rock, and then head on over to a concert somewhere to DJ the show. Alas I came to Michigan and realized that majoring in Communications here wouldn’t give me the right stuff I needed to do my radio bit, so I focused on film. Who knows, maybe I’ll be led in a similar direction. As long as there’s metal, comedy and attractive women around to lure me in, I’m game.
  3. Morpheus: Have you even SEEN The Matrix??

There you have it! I’m back in the blogosphere and ready to rock n’ roll. Keep reading and I’ll keep posting. Not like I have anything of actual importance to tend to. Seriously though, I love doing this. Thanks for putting up with my ramblings.


One thought on “The Daunting Day-to-Day Happenings You Missed While I Was Gone and Other Assorted Adventures

  1. Holy shit, dude…thanks for the name drop! Unrelated side story: my brother got so drunk at my place once that our buddy, a big, strapping football dude, held my brother’s limp form upright so he could piss out my front door. Even went as far as unzipping my brother’s fly. He drew the line at actual “unsheathing” but hey, that’s friendship right there. If you have four good friends that will help you to your feet so that you may carry on with your “business” then you are lucky indeed.

    Good read, as always! Excelsior!

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